How Painful Experiences Can Benefit You


I had a particular painful incident happen to me about a few weeks ago that has shaped the way how I see the world especially in my professional life. I know that I have had many painful experiences in my personal life too which has shaped me to who I am today… How many of you can relate?

Rather than seeing that life is happening to me, I’ve finally come to a point where life is happening FOR ME.

The experiences that we experience are meant to happen for a reason, they are meant to shape us and bring us closer to who you we truly are. Our core essence of being. See the lessons that come into your life. If you don’t, I guarantee you that these instances will repeat itself until you do.

And, when we shy away, we stay stuck in the story, we get complacent and we cannot move on.

From personal experience, this settling of toxic cycles resulted in dis-ease for me and it wasn’t until I got sick until I finally woke up. I couldn’t live this way anymore because it no longer served me.
And, so; I shifted my perspective. My way of thinking, my way of living.

I was able to shed old layers and recreate new layers entirely of its own.

That brought forth magnetism, abundance, and immense healing that I never thought possible.

I am so grateful and know that if I can do this, you can do it too.

Pain is unavoidable, and it’s not a pleasant feeling. Though, there are numerous lessons you can learn from pain. The most important of these is that there is always a lesson to be learned from pain in the first place. Pain can be absolutely terrifying and a fearful place to be in. Believe me, fear is no stranger of mine… I spent majority of my life living in that fear based thinking and hit a stand still with my own success, healing, relationships, and my life. If you too are in this space, I want you to ask yourself:

  • Is the fear that results from painful experiences more powerful than the fear of failure?

  • The fear of a life half-lived?

  • The fear of a life wasted because you allowed some experiences to paralyze you and rob you of any potential that you had? I think not.

Catch yourself when you get into this space. Where are these fearful words coming from? EGO. That inner critic inside of you. Which will always be apart of you, you just have to choose whether you want to lower that volume.

Instead of hearing all the fearful and negative thoughts, do you know what I found to be the consequences of painful experiences?

  • You become more Independent

  • Your Path becomes Clear

  • You become Resilient

  • You Find Out who your True Friends Are

  • You’re Alive

Remember, you are far more capable, far stronger than you give yourself credit for.

All through history, people have faced adversity and come out victorious but only because they faced up to the pain and if you choose to do the same you will be surprised when you come out on top.

Do not focus so much on the pain you are feeling in the moment, it will suck you in and trap you. Instead, seek out the lesson from each painful experience, keep your heart and mind open, and choose to use adversity to fuel the fire inside you instead of snuffing it out.

The more we are exposed to pain, whether in the form of anger, shame, betrayal, failure… the more we get to appreciate the enjoyable emotions such as love, hope, compassion, kindness, joy… This is the contrast of nature; without darkness we would never appreciate the light. Pain serves to enrich our positive experiences and as much as we have a capacity to feel pain we have a capacity to feel joy in equal measure.

Every experience is necessary. The purpose of life is to live it to the fullest, to reach out to the world with open arms and brave it all, the pleasant and the not so pleasant… And if you are seeking success, if you have a dream or a goal, there are no shortcuts, you will have to go through unpleasant experiences but if you are to reach your destination you have to live by the code ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’, you cannot stop, you have to power through it and eventually, victory will be yours.

The usefulness of pain can be a little difficult to come to grips with, especially when you are going through it in the moment. But when you will yourself to surface from it you will be stronger, wiser, and ultimately a better person all around. It is a rare occurrence that a painful experience will have no lesson to teach you. Almost all painful experiences teach you something about yourself, the world around you, and how you can live a happier, more fulfilling life.

Don’t you think it’s better to look back on life and say, ‘How did I get through that, I’m glad I tried’ instead of ‘I wish I had tried’ or ‘What if I had chosen to look at it differently? Don’t get to the end of your life and wonder why you didn’t change a perspective you have the chance to change now, or learn a lesson you have a chance to learn now, or to adopt a perspective that would have made the outcome of your life very different. Take the risk…  Feel passion… Feel pain… Feel joy… go through it all and make the most of every situation even the unpleasant. 

ADVICEAlice Chen