How To Heal When You Feel Broken

nick-fewings-ka7REB1AJl4-unsplash.jpg

Hi friends! There’s has been a couple of shifts that has happened in my life lately. I had a dear friend and co-worker of mine pass away unexpectedly and I also had another dear friend of mine (who was supposed to be apart of my wedding party) do something to me where she is no longer involved. Also working with a couple of clients of mine have inspired me to find ways to move through all of this.

What I have learned is that:

It may not feel like it right now but this struggle is happening FOR you.
Not to you.
This is actually your gift.
Choose to feel the pain, to dig deep into your wounds, reprogram, recondition, and to come out the other side new.

How I’ve learned to heal when I have felt broken inside was through these steps:

1. ALLOW YOURSELF TO REALLY FEEL
I mean it, feel into this experience. It’s absolutely necessary. You have to let yourself be with your emotions. If you don’t, you will harden. Parts of you will turn into stone, and most of it will probably be around your heart. Your future self will be so mad at you for not dealing with this now. Let yourself fall into the darkness of your aching heart.

2. TIME AND SPACE
This means, you guessed it, no communicating with whomever who has hurt you. Right now, you need time and space to transition into what that’s going to look like. Space is the thing that’s going to bring you clarity. It’s going to help you heal. It’s going to give you strength.

3. STOP THE NEGATIVE CHATTER
Don’t talk badly about anyone who has wronged you or left you suddenly. If you’ve done it, stop it NOW. And don’t talk badly about yourself. If you’ve done that, stop that now too. It’s ok to be angry, but when we start to create stories about things and put others down, we hinder the healing process. We choose fear instead of love. When you indulge in any negative talk (out loud or in your mind) about your former partner or yourself you are devaluing each of you as human beings.

4. STAY ON YOUR PATH - DO YOU
This is your life. You get to make it anything you want. You are not defined by one person leaving your life. You are still whole. You are still full. Even if you don’t feel like it right now you will one day again. I promise you. So think about who you are and what you want for your life.

5. FIND YOURSELF A SUPPORT SYSTEM
Support is essential throughout the stages of grief. Find at least one or two people who will be the ones you call on during your darkest moments. These are the people who are going to tell you what you need to hear when you are low. And please, please, please be sure these are positive people, not people who are going to talk badly upon your ex, but people who will support you and give you love.

6. NOURISH YOURSELF
Experiences like this can be very traumatic on the body, they can strip the living soul of you sometimes. Do whatever you need to do to put your body first. This is your vessel, the way you are going to continue your time here on Earth. One of the most important things you can do when you’re going through a breakup is to be gentle with yourself. Remove obligations, go stay with someone for a bit if you need to, but listen to what you need and give it to yourself.

AGAIN…

It may not feel like it right now but this struggle is happening FOR you.
Not to you.
This is actually your gift.
Choose to feel the pain, to dig deep into your wounds, reprogram, recondition, and to come out the other side new.

I’m available for healing and mentoring sessions to guide and support you during this time. Email me at alice@aliceinwondrland.com

LIFESTYLEAlice Chen