Finding your voice

Finding your voice…
Can sound so simple to some but can be so challenging for others.
I can’t tell you how long I spent my life living for others. Being that I can read people, I knew what they wanted to hear and due to wanting to be loved and accepted (as a means of survival), I did what others expected of me. I wore so many different masks besides my own. I second-guessed myself over anything little thing and I lost myself in that process.
I lose a sense of who I was.


Why is finding your voice important?


Our voices have so much power - it can solves misunderstandings, support beliefs, bring love into this world, and help us evolve as human beings. Though, if we fail to utilize and exercise our voices; our voices will fade with time. We will lose the ability to allow our words to change us and the people around us.

I got sick from not speaking my truth or using my own voice… sounds crazy right? Crazy thought provoking, the mind and the body are connected. I was afraid to speak, I was afraid to look “stupid” or to be excluded. I wanted to be apart of a community. Though, consider this: If we continually allow that fear to hold us back from speaking out when we have something to say, we are likely going to miss out on the opportunity of being heard.

Our voice is our essence, it’s ready for the world to hear, feel, and see.


So, how do you get it back?

I have no easy answer — I’m not even sure I can say I’ve fully found my voice yet. It’s a quest that doesn’t seem to end — a constant retuning as the essence of who is changing, evolving… I’m learning, and I hope my learning helps yours. This is for anyone who creates anything.

Journey down the self-discovery process. Think about reconnecting to that time where your true self got lost in the process of appeasing others. As you discover your core self, think about the societal and cultural influences that came along in your journey. What was your socialization like and how did that frame your psyche? Think about key experiences in life. You’ll be surprised what certain experiences frame your way of thinking. Mediate, journal, and talk to a professional practitioner who can guide you along throughout this process.

Discover Your Passions Ask yourself, “What do I care about?” Consider what makes you feel something, anything. Think about the aspects of our society that you want to see improve or change. These are the topics that you should be raising your voice about because these are the things that ignite your passion.

Practice, practice, practice. Whatever your craft is, practice makes perfect. If you are a blogger, practice writing a lot. I am by no means a writer but here, you see me writing blog posts, micro instagram blog posts, letters, and etc. The more you practice your craft, the more you chisel your voice.

Learn to hear yourself. My voice is really the voice in my head. It’s not how I talk aloud, but how I talk to myself, in the noisy cavern of my skull. I listen to myself talk, inside, and that’s the voice I try to get down in writing.

Getting that voice from your head to the virtual paper — that’s the trick. It’s not easy, but again, do it often, and you’ll get proficient at it. It’s a rewiring of the synapses, so that your head-thoughts shoot down into your fingertips and come out as typing motions, as bits and pixels. Most people don’t do this enough to get good at it, and so there is low fidelity.

Find what feels true. You’ll craft a lot, and most of it will be bad. You need the bad if you want to find the good. Sort through the bad until you learn to recognize the truth, by feel, not by any logical criteria. The good looks remarkably like bad. Honor these pair of opposites.

Find clarity. Good craft = clear thinking. If your thinking is muddled, your craft will be. I’d recommend clearing your space (feng shui) and find a way to simplify yourself to allow an even flow of energy to flow freely. Think about simplifying. Practice removing extraneous ideas until you have only what’s needed to express a simple thought.

Remove the noise. It’s a process of subtraction more than addition. Most people end up with too many words, because they never subtract. The noise gets in the way of your voice, so pare it down, trimming the noise from the bush until you’re left with truth. I subtract in my head, these days, but that’s from years of practice. After you write, edit, and remove the noise.

Most people also have too much noise in their lives to hear their own thinking. Too much is going on around them, and online, and they have no time for solitude. You can’t hear your thoughts, your voice, without solitude. Remove the noise in your life as well.

Use your voice. We each have a very unique and distinct set of values and beliefs that we hold close to our hearts. Every single person has a very different yet valuable collection of knowledge, wisdom and experiences that they have acquired throughout their individual life. Because of this, every human being has a perspective all of his or her own to bring to the table when discussing a diverse range of topics. You and your voice are just as valued in important conversations as any other voice. When we begin to understand the importance of our individuality, we allow ourselves to ignite the spark inside of us and to let that light shine outward and onto others.


As you peel back the layers of what you thought was once yourself, you start finding your true self.
Be patient, you will find your core essence of being.

You must use your voice. Use it to express yourself, to help others, to change the world.

How will you use your voice?

LIFESTYLE, ADVICEAlice Chen